21. You’ve totaled every car you’ve ever owned.
22. There are more than five McDonald’s bags currently on the floorboard of your car.
23. Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette.
24. There is a wasp nest in your living room.
25. The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
26. You give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
27. There has ever been crime-scene tape on your front door.
28. You burn your front yard rather than mow it.
29. You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
30. Fewer than half of your cars run.